thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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