Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
