Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
