Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
