Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
