I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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