Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
