Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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