i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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