You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize