I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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