So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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