Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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