My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
