Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
