wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
