happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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