I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
