Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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