Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
