If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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