question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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