What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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