Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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