Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
