I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
