Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
