I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
