Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
