Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
