Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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