he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
