sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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