I'm eating all of the evidence.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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