8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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