Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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