i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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