i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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