I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
