WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
