Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
