My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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