It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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