I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
