I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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