He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
His nipple licking is glorious
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