Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
