I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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