Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize