Porn is love you can see.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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