either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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