Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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