i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
