Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
