Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
