K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
