Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
A+ Viking dick
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
