Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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