aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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