I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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