I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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