girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
