I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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